It was 7:29AM: just a minute to go for that damn alarm to ring. I looked at my phone (desk clocks are extinct) and grinned. Have you ever felt contentment when after killing a mosquito right after it procured that tiny drop of blood from you? You will stop at nothing to see that blood on your hands, or anything else it gets gummed to. This, my friend, is called revenge. You spill your blood, get your blood on your hands, think that you did a favor on yourself, and feel happy about it. I was looking forward to feeling the same when I looked at the time. For that whole minute I waited for it to ring and wham! I killed it. Joy! But, right after that, something astounding happened. Something so bizarre that I cant wrap my head around it to gauge its astoundingness.Honestly, I hate alarms but I cant think of anyone who would like them. That is why it is called an alarm – fear and terror. On second thoughts, I have lived most of my life in terror, and to speak of that terror, I should feel right at ‘home’ when this terror strikes every morning. I recall one fine evening when I was trying to choose the tune of the alarm which would terrify me out of my dreams. Now when I think of it, it gives me a good laugh at how inane we human beings are. We end up choosing what should terrify us and in turn what we should be scared of. On a seriously thoughtful note, we are supposed to be terrified and mortified of the one entity – God whereas God is the one we should have an utmost love for. Don’t ask me what pure, true, blind, fake, real love is. You will get your answer when you look at something or someone you love. Prepare to be surprised at what you find out.
This brings me to mention love and fear. An interesting anagram for these two words comes to my head – “leave for”. Strange things happen when we allow our brains to think. Don’t we end up leaving things for the fear of losing something; don’t we leave things because of our love for some other things? Things, I tell you, are just things sometimes. Phobophobia and philophobia are phobias. Fear and love are emotions. Emotions are feelings. Feelings are desires. Desires are wishes. Wishes are not needs. So when someone comes and tells that they need love let them know, in a calm demeanor, that they don’t need it. Like when your child asks you, “Mom/Dad, is superman real?”, and you answer, ‘No dear, he is not’. Calm demeanor is the look on your face when you have that full conviction and confidence in what you say, and appearing pleasing, condescending, and gentle all at the same time.
Every single one of us has used the words ‘be calm’ sometimes in our life. Some of us follow these words with shut eyes and some of us utter them after opening the eyes. Some great folks don’t even blink while they are at it. It will be amusing to find out which of these individuals really feel calm afterwards. I, for one, can never be calm after the alarm rings unless, like it happened today, I wait for it and kill it the moment it rings. I felt calm and grinned before it rang, and after I killed it. Then something happened.
Something astounding happened which left a bewildered look on my face. Atleast, I felt that I had a bewildered look on my face. My brain forgot a word. I don’t know what that word is, but I will figure out the astounding reverberance it may cause. Until then, I will keep wondering what it was that perplexed me on a Friday morning. But it being Friday, I think I will live through it. Fridays are the days which most of us wait for without even knowing why.
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