One needs a reason to write. I have been thinking of one such reason but when you see a lot of choices given to you, you prefer the best one out of them. It so happens that I when I write, it goes into something personal something that cannot be shared. That takes the priority. But overtime themes build up in your head and one fine day you just have to let it out - today seems to be one such day.
Much has happened in the last few months. Beginning with my changing cities, my beloved changing countries, improvised work same returns, new habitat, changing thoughts, hundreds of people killed, money melting, and surprisingly a new year comes out of nowhere, and what not. At times you just want to let it go. But when you think about it, what is "it" that you can let go? One thing I can think of is let everything go and go to Himalayas. People have done it in the past, people will do it again, though the reason why they will do it is totally different than what it was centuries ago but the motive is still the same. I felt doing "it" too. While I was feeling it, something stuck me real hard and it came from no where. Here is the question again, what is 'it'? I tried hard to look for 'it' but I failed, I found nothing, but what I remember is that something did hit me. It must have been like something that has been in front of you all the time but you can see only from the corner of your eye. It somehow missed the corner of my eye. But there are other worse things I can think of that hit you and you don't see it coming and you don't see it go as well. One such thing is chewing.
Talking about biomechanics of the human temporomandibular joint during mastication, or simply the process of chewing, that is one time when you are really hit hard by something you can't see. At a force of about 847N for men and 597N for women things can get pretty rough. I feel the need to argue that why a man's bite out-forces that of a woman. We talk about gender equality and the likes, why would a woman bite 350N units less force than that of a man? Guess these are laboratory tests and must have involved some kind of discrimination against women. We should report this to WHO (Women Heckling Organization). Alright, coming back to the point of something hitting you when you are masticating or so make it simple to avoid any WHO activity, let us call it chewing. Something hitting you real hard while you are at it goes this way: when you are chewing the softest thing you have ever put in your mouth and you are in the realm of an amazing feeling - feeling elated to have grabbed something that soft, feeling elated that you are biting into something that is very soft, feeling elated that you are actually chewing the soft thing. While you are into that amazing feeling, feeling exactly like you feel when you are amazed, out of nowhere you hear that CRICCCCCCCH sound.
Now there are many sounds one can make while chewing. Those can be sounds of satisfaction, sounds of your teeth grinding against each other doing what teeth do when they grind against each other, sounds of your singing while you chew, or sounds an open mouth makes while chewing and the likes. But the sound that hits you is the scary CRICCCCCCCH sound of something between your teeth that should not be there at the first place. Then there are reactions. The first and foremost, you stop chewing. Second you look around as if you are looking 'inside' your mouth. Third, you start chewing (oh yes, you do) ever so slowly to see if that sound comes up again. Fourth, you roll your tongue in your mouth to feel if you still have your teeth where you last left them. Fifth, you think of spitting out whatever you have in your mouth. Sixth, you look at the stuff you were eating (if there is any left) as if it was the culprit. Seventh, you pick up the remaining stuff and put it in your mouth very carefully. Eighth, you chew as if your life is hanging on to it. Ninth, you keep looking at the still left over stuff that you were eating. Tenth, you feel your teeth every time you swallow whatever you had to swallow.
While you do all this, you still wonder what hit you. No matter how hard you try, you just can't find the source of the sound. The chewing rhythm is broken and no matter what you do to concentrate again on chewing, you just don't feel too good about the soft thing in your mouth. So what happens is that for a moment you feel good about chewing the soft thing in your mouth. A moment or two later you feel bad about feeling good about it. Then you feel good about feeling bad about feeling good about it and, satisfied you just finish off the soft thing you started eating. But you still wonder what hit you.
Coming back to my thought of letting it all go, I was hit by something that I could not see. It must have been a thought that you think of when you are not thinking about it. But when something like that happens, you really don't know whether to think about what you were thinking of or think about what you were not thinking of. It involves a lot of thinking and during this process you either don't think at all or think about something that you were not thinking of. This is what happened to me. I had to deboard the 'let go everything' train. Leaving that thought was like stepping at something which is not there at all, but that is a different story altogether. I am not intelligent enough to describe that. That needs me to cry a bit but I am more of a kind of inside crying person, so I bequeathed that thought into oblivion but it bequeathed it right back at me. So I used a special technique to get rid of that thought, a technique which is not a technique at all. It is just that you think about something other than what you think about as if you were thinking about something. Sounds confusing, I know that. I can do that at times. You can try that on me sometime and let us see if I care.
With all that running in my mind, I thought about a solution. What could be an ultimate solution to a problem that bothers us? This is not about the solution, but about the problem we have. There has been something that is bothering us, something that is not letting us live our lives the way we want us to. It could be the happenings around us, the killing, the economics, or the future. It all seems gloomy. I mean, how many of are trained to face a situation that we have never heard of before? Nothing in your upbringing tells us what to do when someone points a gun at you and tries to rob you. What best we can do at that time is left upto how strong a person thinks or how strong a person is. The way you react to such a situation is not what you can plan. I can be a superman in my plans but when it comes to putting that plan into action, and that is when I know what I am capable of. This is one big issue we face in our country. We plan and then do nothing. We think too much and while thinking all what we should not think about, something hits us. That is when we forget what we were thinking about. Reading all what we are doing since the majority of past two decades is shouting at the person across the river 'I am a son of a lion and am not afraid of you' to which the other person retorts 'Did your mom visit the jungle or the lion showed up at your house?' That is where we turn around and think of something else to say. This thinking has led us to one of the painful truth of our existence - ignore what all is happening. What we take care of is what is vital to our living - eat, breathe and multiply. That is what human life is all about, to sum it up. We don’t know what to believe in. That is the worse thing that can happen to mankind and womankind. I have heard people say 'Please go away and mind your business'. I wish everything around me would go away and minds its own business too.
An afterthought: At times when you don't know anything, 'something' is a very nice word to use. Saves you a lot of thought.
Much has happened in the last few months. Beginning with my changing cities, my beloved changing countries, improvised work same returns, new habitat, changing thoughts, hundreds of people killed, money melting, and surprisingly a new year comes out of nowhere, and what not. At times you just want to let it go. But when you think about it, what is "it" that you can let go? One thing I can think of is let everything go and go to Himalayas. People have done it in the past, people will do it again, though the reason why they will do it is totally different than what it was centuries ago but the motive is still the same. I felt doing "it" too. While I was feeling it, something stuck me real hard and it came from no where. Here is the question again, what is 'it'? I tried hard to look for 'it' but I failed, I found nothing, but what I remember is that something did hit me. It must have been like something that has been in front of you all the time but you can see only from the corner of your eye. It somehow missed the corner of my eye. But there are other worse things I can think of that hit you and you don't see it coming and you don't see it go as well. One such thing is chewing.
Talking about biomechanics of the human temporomandibular joint during mastication, or simply the process of chewing, that is one time when you are really hit hard by something you can't see. At a force of about 847N for men and 597N for women things can get pretty rough. I feel the need to argue that why a man's bite out-forces that of a woman. We talk about gender equality and the likes, why would a woman bite 350N units less force than that of a man? Guess these are laboratory tests and must have involved some kind of discrimination against women. We should report this to WHO (Women Heckling Organization). Alright, coming back to the point of something hitting you when you are masticating or so make it simple to avoid any WHO activity, let us call it chewing. Something hitting you real hard while you are at it goes this way: when you are chewing the softest thing you have ever put in your mouth and you are in the realm of an amazing feeling - feeling elated to have grabbed something that soft, feeling elated that you are biting into something that is very soft, feeling elated that you are actually chewing the soft thing. While you are into that amazing feeling, feeling exactly like you feel when you are amazed, out of nowhere you hear that CRICCCCCCCH sound.
Now there are many sounds one can make while chewing. Those can be sounds of satisfaction, sounds of your teeth grinding against each other doing what teeth do when they grind against each other, sounds of your singing while you chew, or sounds an open mouth makes while chewing and the likes. But the sound that hits you is the scary CRICCCCCCCH sound of something between your teeth that should not be there at the first place. Then there are reactions. The first and foremost, you stop chewing. Second you look around as if you are looking 'inside' your mouth. Third, you start chewing (oh yes, you do) ever so slowly to see if that sound comes up again. Fourth, you roll your tongue in your mouth to feel if you still have your teeth where you last left them. Fifth, you think of spitting out whatever you have in your mouth. Sixth, you look at the stuff you were eating (if there is any left) as if it was the culprit. Seventh, you pick up the remaining stuff and put it in your mouth very carefully. Eighth, you chew as if your life is hanging on to it. Ninth, you keep looking at the still left over stuff that you were eating. Tenth, you feel your teeth every time you swallow whatever you had to swallow.
While you do all this, you still wonder what hit you. No matter how hard you try, you just can't find the source of the sound. The chewing rhythm is broken and no matter what you do to concentrate again on chewing, you just don't feel too good about the soft thing in your mouth. So what happens is that for a moment you feel good about chewing the soft thing in your mouth. A moment or two later you feel bad about feeling good about it. Then you feel good about feeling bad about feeling good about it and, satisfied you just finish off the soft thing you started eating. But you still wonder what hit you.
Coming back to my thought of letting it all go, I was hit by something that I could not see. It must have been a thought that you think of when you are not thinking about it. But when something like that happens, you really don't know whether to think about what you were thinking of or think about what you were not thinking of. It involves a lot of thinking and during this process you either don't think at all or think about something that you were not thinking of. This is what happened to me. I had to deboard the 'let go everything' train. Leaving that thought was like stepping at something which is not there at all, but that is a different story altogether. I am not intelligent enough to describe that. That needs me to cry a bit but I am more of a kind of inside crying person, so I bequeathed that thought into oblivion but it bequeathed it right back at me. So I used a special technique to get rid of that thought, a technique which is not a technique at all. It is just that you think about something other than what you think about as if you were thinking about something. Sounds confusing, I know that. I can do that at times. You can try that on me sometime and let us see if I care.
With all that running in my mind, I thought about a solution. What could be an ultimate solution to a problem that bothers us? This is not about the solution, but about the problem we have. There has been something that is bothering us, something that is not letting us live our lives the way we want us to. It could be the happenings around us, the killing, the economics, or the future. It all seems gloomy. I mean, how many of are trained to face a situation that we have never heard of before? Nothing in your upbringing tells us what to do when someone points a gun at you and tries to rob you. What best we can do at that time is left upto how strong a person thinks or how strong a person is. The way you react to such a situation is not what you can plan. I can be a superman in my plans but when it comes to putting that plan into action, and that is when I know what I am capable of. This is one big issue we face in our country. We plan and then do nothing. We think too much and while thinking all what we should not think about, something hits us. That is when we forget what we were thinking about. Reading all what we are doing since the majority of past two decades is shouting at the person across the river 'I am a son of a lion and am not afraid of you' to which the other person retorts 'Did your mom visit the jungle or the lion showed up at your house?' That is where we turn around and think of something else to say. This thinking has led us to one of the painful truth of our existence - ignore what all is happening. What we take care of is what is vital to our living - eat, breathe and multiply. That is what human life is all about, to sum it up. We don’t know what to believe in. That is the worse thing that can happen to mankind and womankind. I have heard people say 'Please go away and mind your business'. I wish everything around me would go away and minds its own business too.
An afterthought: At times when you don't know anything, 'something' is a very nice word to use. Saves you a lot of thought.
Posts
7 comments:
been a while since I wrote a post on "Something, Sometimes".. the post you wrote has certain shades of the post I had written quite a while back. While I agree "something" is a word that we all use when we do not know what to be used, lets not forget that the same "something" is what makes us tick! looks like you are on the verge of becoming Muzaffar The Writer!!!
Ahh, The Writer. That one did not make me blush though.. but thanks for your compliments. Yes, something really is something you can bank on always.
Oh yes, I love those words 'something', 'someone','someplace', 'somewhere'... It says that oh..yes we know what we are talking about but what exactly I cant point my index finger at..
Nice read, as always..see its 6.19pm now and I got a train to catch at 8.30pm, my room is in a mess and bag is half packed but what the heck..the train can wait..I cant miss a good post.
Take care. Keep writing,Writer.
Coocs, you really know how to manage time. Guess, I might have to learn a few things from you. Thanks for your encouragement in different aspects. I remember the two words 'you should'. Pretty dangerous at times though.
Something at me personal messages do not send, a mistake what that
Your idea is very good
though it took me lot of time to go thru it but i must tell a nice read after long... Oh please dnr think i liked the idea or msg . Not at all. Wht i found interesting is that u managed to write so much when actually u had almost nothing to say... N thats an art. Though i knew there is nothing for me in it i cudnt stop myself from completing it without a wink with my eyes glued to the screen. N by the time i finished it ... I felt sometimes something really hits u n hits hard......... Great job naveed sahab.
Post a Comment